Ever since the first chimp picked up a bone off the prehistoric floor and used it to bash open the skull of a wildebeest, men have been obsessed with their tools. Millions of years on, and our homes are full of labour saving devices: toasters, refrigerators, microwaves and that thing you bought of the Shopping Channel with the free introductory spoon. But lately, my toaster’s been giving me the eye, imploring about being tumble-dried to death, and my food blender is now officially a lethal weapon. We live in dangerous times, and to prove it, six lifeless objects are about to be bought dangerously to life to fight for a place in our series semi-finals.